Doug:Homecoming
by Epic410
Summary: Doug, now 35 years old is back in Bluffington for the Christmas Holiday. Will he meet up with his old friends? Are there a few that have moved on? This is how I think Doug would be currently. An average guy just going through life.
1. Chapter 1

Doug: Homecoming

Doug sat in the coach seat of the 747 and watched as the small town the size of a train set grew and grew before his eyes. He hadn't been home to Bluffington in about 11 months. Doug checked the ribbons on his uniform and made sure his marksmanship badge was "squared away" Personally Doug hated wearing his class a uniform, but it made his parents happy.

" _We are now making our final decent into Bluffington. Pleases make sure your…._

Doug began wondering about the past few years. Man, one minute you're in Middle School than High School and you don't know what to do with your future. The next thing you know you're getting yelled at by a Drill Sergeant and doing push ups. You figure you are only going to do one enlistment, but when the time comes up to reenlist you sign up again. Doug had about 2 years to go to retirement from the Army, that is if he wanted to retire.

" _Have I really been away this long? Sure I've been back a few times but aside from Bluff Book and texting Happy Birthday here and there do I really know anyone anymore?"_

The plane reached the terminal and Doug waited for the families and elderly people to vacate the plane. He had packed light, only one carry on. He only took 8 days of leave to be home for Christmas with his family in Bluffington. When the line was thinning out and the cleaners came on board he got up and grabbed his duffle bag from the overhead compartment.

"Happy Holidays, and thank you for your service." The flight attendant said.

"You too." Doug replied.

He lugged his duffle bag over his shoulder and began toward the area he was suppose to meet his family. Doug reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. 4 missed calls. 20 text messages.

" _Moms"_ He thought.

His flight had arrived 30 minutes early. Doug decided to grab a beer at the Skybar. He enjoyed the cold beverage and watched as a couple of planes taxied toward the terminal. He suddenly had the urge for a cigarette but had decided to quit a few days ago.

" _I'll quit next week. Better yet, it will be my New Year's Resolution"_ Doug chuckled to himself. He left a small tip for his beer and headed over to the shop to buy a pack of cigarettes.

"One pack of Bluff Lights, please" Doug asked the cashier.

"I'm sorry sir, the airport does not sell cigarettes." The cashier said rolling her eyes.

Doug pocketed his wallet and walked out of the store and back into the concourse. He saw a group of businessmen outside of the Airport smoking. He decided to go bum one.

"Sir, I hate to ask you but could I bum a cigarette?" Doug asked.

"Sure, buddy!" The man replied. "Here, take this too, trying to quit! Merry Christmas and thanks for your service!" The man said handing Doug a cigar and giving him a large pat on the back.

The man took a few drags of his cigarette. "I did some time in Desert Storm myself. Field artillery, nothing heavy."

Doug took a drag of his cigarette.

"King of battle. Boy we love you guys. I'm a grunt." Doug replied.

"I could tell by your unit patch, and not to mention the combat infantry badge." The man said.

The man shook Doug's hand and put out his cigarette on the ground. Doug put his out as he saw his mother's car approaching. He didn't want to be chewed out about smoking by his own mother. Even combat veterans dread that.

##############################################################################

The drive was a pretty short one. Traffic was light and there had not been any bad weather in Virginia yet. Doug was in his old room unpacking a few things out of his bag.

"Son, me and your mother were thinking about going out for dinner would you like to come?" Mr. Funnie said.

"Na, I'm good dad. I'm not quite hungry yet. Must be the Jet lag." Doug said. "Maybe you can bring me back a Honker Burger and fries?"

"Sure thing Doug, welcome home son." Mr Funnie said.

Doug watched from his window as his parents left. He admired his old room. It was tiny compared to his room in the NCO barracks back on Fort Bliss but still somewhat comfortable. He sat behind his old desk and pulled out his old journal and skimmed through it laughing at the sloppy handwriting. He tossed the tattered journal back into the old desk.

" _Flying sure gets you home quicker, but I think I should have drove. I feel weird boring Mom and Dad's car"_ He thought to himself.

He decided to go for a walk. He put on a pair of sweats and his running shoes. When he got to the porch he saw Mrs. Dink taking groceries out of her car. She caught him out of the corner of her eye.

"Well Doug Funnie! How are you young man?" Mrs. Dink called.

"I'm fine. Took a week of leave for Christmas. I am so sorry to hear about Mr. Dink. I wish I could have made it back for the funeral, we had a field training exercise. I couldn't get any leave approved. He wasn't considered family." Doug replied.

"It's ok Doug. Bud was so proud of you when you would send pictures back from over there. Well I have to get these groceries inside. I will talk to you later." Mrs. Dink said in her unemotional but pleasant way.

"Ok Mrs. Dink. Have a good one." Doug waved and began his walk.

These walks were sure more fun with Porkchop he thought. That dog was nearly human he chuckled to himself.

Doug walked for a bit and then it turned into a jog. His knees were still pretty healthy, for a 35 year old. He decided to keep it at a nice jog instead of a run. He was after all on leave. P.T. could wait a little bit. He slowed down a bit when he reached a row of townhomes. There was one on the far left with a wheelchair ramp.

" _Patti Mayonaise"_ He thought to himself.

Doug walked up to the front door of the house and got ready to knock. He stopped about an inch before the door. He bit his lip and turned around.

"Eh, the lights are off. Nobody is home anyway." He told himself and began to jog off.

On the second floor of the house a light came on. A few moments later Patti Mayonnaise was out on her porch watching the man jog off into the evening.

" _I wonder…...was that Doug Funnie?"_ Patti thought to herself. " _Na."_ She thought going back inside.

Doug returned from his jog about 45 minutes later. His parents still weren't back then. Now he was feeling hungry for sure. He went in and took a quick shower and changed into a tshirt and jeans. There were a few power bars stowed away in his bag and he gnawed on one looking at his phone. A few text messages from his buddies back at Fort Bliss asking if he got home ok. He replied to them. He got on Bluff Book. All of the sudden a PM popped up. It was Patti Mayonnaise!

"Well damn!" Doug said.

" _Doug I could have sworn I say you jogging earlier. Are you home from the Army?"_ Patti's messaged said

"I'm not home for good. 2 years until retirement. I am home for leave." Doug replied.

" _Was that you on my father's porch? I am spending the week at his house for the holiday"_

"Yes."

" _Well why didn't you knock, silly?"_

"The lights were off. I figured nobody was home."

" _LOL. My dad was at his basketball game. He plays Thursday nights down at the Bluffington Rec. He has a special van now. I was just upstairs unpacking, I knew it was you! You still run like a wimp, LOL"_ Patti wrote back.

"HA, yeah right. Next time I will knock. Maybe we can get something to eat sometime." Doug replied.

" _How about we get some coffee tomorrow morning around 11:20?" Patti offered_

"Sounds good. Where at?"

" _There is a new Starbucks on Bluffington Blvd. Pick me up at around 11:00"_

"I don't have my car, I can see if I can borrow my mom's or dad's" Doug replied.

" _Who said anything about driving. It will be a race, slow poke!"_ Patti challenged.

"I'm down like a car with floor flat tires Mayonnaise." Doug wrote back

" _You run like a car with four flat tires. Night!"_

#############################################################################

Doug walked up to the porch. It was a pretty decent morning about 50 degrees or so. Just a small hint of coldness in your lungs when you ran. Before he could knock the door swung open. There she was. Patti was wearing a tight fighting jogging suit. The suit wasn't attempting to show off but her athletic and toned body did on it's own.

" _Patti Mayonaise"_ Doug thought.

Patti grinned and shoved Doug out of the way. Doug spun around and couldn't believe that Patti was 10 years ahead of him already! He began to sprint to catch her. He could already feel the double honker burger with chili fries disagreeing with his exercise.

" _I really have to quit smoking. New Year's. For real this time."_ Doug thought to himself, gasping for air.

Patti continued on like a missile down Shelborne Ave. Her feet barely seemed to touch the ground. Who ran like this in their 30's? Who had the time to stay in shape. Even Doug, in the Army with mandatory PT ever weekday wasn't on her level.

"Hurry up Army man!" Patti called about 20 yards ahead.

"Running is for cowards!" Doug attempted to shout in a hoarse voice.

#############################################################################

Doug gulped the bottle of water he had gotten himself before he drank his coffee. It was his mantra ever since basic training to drink a glass of water with every meal even with another drink. The idea seemed crazy to Patti.

"Ha. Doug I hate to say it but you are a slow poke." Patti joked.

"Knee surgery on both knees Patti. You try luggling a 60lb ruck sack wherever you go." Doug said.

"Maybe if you quit those Cancer sticks Doug. They are bad for you." Patti said.

"New Year's Resolution is to quit." Doug chirped "So how is Baltimore? Is it fun working for the Ravens?"

"It's pretty good actually. I don't really interact with the players, just all the logistics stuff. Joe Flacco is a pretty nice guy." Patti went on between sips of her Pumpkin Spice coffee.

"He seems so laid back. But Ben Rothelisberger is still the man." Doug said.

"Ugh I can't believe you like the Steelers, Doug! Nobody is perfect I guess." She said tossing a napkin at Doug.

"I have tickets to the game on Thursday. Remember Chalky Studebaker?"

"Yeah, whatever happened to him?" Patti asked.

"Him and his wife have season tickets. He moved up to Baltimore awhile back. Works for some law firm." Patti said.

Doug grinned. He thought back to the time Chalky cheated off of his test. Yeah that sounds like something a lawyer would do.

"So what do you say Doug? Want to go to the Ravens game?" Patti asked

"Who are they playing?"

"Thankfully not the Steelers. You would get beat up for wearing that in Baltimore. The Ravens have the Colts." Patty said.

"Hey thats cool. I do have Andrew Luck on my fantasy team." Doug laughed as Patti threw another napkin at him.


	2. Chapter 2

Doug: Homecoming

Doug sat next to Patti on the Light Rail, the Baltimore public transportation system's train out of downtown Baltimore. The Ravens had pulled out a narrow victory 20-19.

"How did you enjoy the game, Doug?" Patti shouted over the commotion in the car they were riding in.

"Those seats were awesome! Thanks for taking me Patti!" Doug replied.

The ride home to their part of Virginia was about 90 minutes. The traffic was a little iffy in the city but Patti had parked outside the city and they had ridden the lightrail in to beat traffic.

"Chalky seems to be doing well for himself." Doug said.

"Yeah, I'd say!" Patti said.

Doug rest his head on the passenger seat of Patti's Toyota Camry. He started to watch the lights pass by on I-95. There was a long silence.

"So Patti, what else is new?" Doug asked.

"Oh not much. I have another job offer with some company, but who would want to leave working for a football team. How about you Doug, you must have so many stories and seen so many things!" Patti asked.

"Oh, a few." He replied

" _OH SHIT! MEDIC!"_ A 19 year old Private screamed.

Doug adjusted his kevlar helmet and crept up the side of a decimated pick up truck.

"Hey! Pull him back here you two are out in the open!" Doug said laying down a few shots toward a balcony with an open door.

"SGT Funnie?! Is that you?!" The injured soldier cried out.

"It's me Howser. Calm down, and shut up! You're gonna be ok. Get over here now!" Doug called over.

" _SHIT SHIT SHIT!"_ Raced through Doug's mind. " _This was a damn setup from the get go. Stupid know it all Lieutenant! Should have just rode past this damn compound!"_

Doug watched has the soldier started to pull the injured one behind the vehicle. A loud rattle came from upstairs in the villa where Doug had fired at before. He watched in horror as the two soldiers were cut down. They're lifeless bodies hitting the gravel covered ground. Blood started to pour out like syrup. Flies came from nowhere and started to suckle on it.

"GOD DAMN IT! You son of a bitch!" Doug screamed.

Doug fell down behind the truck. He opened the chamber to his M203 attached to his M-16. He reached into his vest. He had just one 40MM grenade. The armourer had given him guff about drawing an M203 attachment for his rifle and grenades. He said they wouldn't be needed. He dropped the grenade into the launcher and yelled back.

"Lay some suppressive fire down on that balcony!" Doug yelled to a few soldiers behind him.

When he felt the time was right he positioned himself behind the truck and fired the weapon. A bloop sound occurred and a bullet like piece of metal spiraled into the open door. An instant later an explosion occurred.

Doug waited a few moments incase the blast did not subdue the shooter up in the upper portion of the complex. He threw another metallic item and green smoke began to emit from it. He crawled out from under the truck. He didnt even give the command but the soldirs that were behind him began to fire on the balcony to cover their Sergeant. He reached the two soldiers and felt for pulses. They were both dead.

He sighed, 2 more KIA. He hopped up and grabbed them by the back of their vests and web gear and began to pull them back behind the decimated pick up truck.

"Doug did you see any die over there, it must have been so horrible" Patti said.

"I knew people that died, yeah. Hey I have a question, whatever happened to Skeeter?" Doug asked.

"Skeeter? Wow that name is a throw back. Me and him went to Bluffington Community College awhile after you left. He transferred to Bloatsburg U a few semesters afterward. I haven't heard from in in ages. I have him on Bluff-igram if you want to add him." Patti said.

"Yeah, I'd like to get lunch or something with Skeet." Doug said.


	3. Chapter 3

Doug woke up aching. His head was hurting like there was a microscopic construction worker using a jackhammer inside of his brain.

"What happened?" Doug asked

"This idiot on a cell phone cut me off! I just missed him, you fell asleep! I am so sorry Doug!" Patti cried.

"Are you ok Patti?" Doug asked.

The car was most likely totaled Doug thought looking out of the passenger window. There was a maroon colored Ford Escape with New York license plates about 100 yards beyond them.

"Is that the car?" Doug asked.

Before Patti could answer, Doug saw his answer in her eyes. He shoved the crumpled door open with a heavy push. Patti still gripping the steering wheel watched him in shock. He gave her a stern look.

"Open the trunk." Doug commanded in a stone voice.

Patti opened the trunk. The sound of the door opening was the only sound she could hear within miles. Doug had put a back pack in her trunk before they had left for the game. She heard a metallic clicking sound and saw him shove something in the hip of his pants.

He held his hand out to her signalling that it was ok. He began to trudge toward the vehicle like a robot that had been programed for just that very reason. Patti gasped

" _Oh my God! Is he going to shoot him?"_

She watched as Doug ripped open the door of the vehicle and pulled the driver out. She couldn't make out what Doug was yelling at him, her mind was still cloudy.

She watched as Doug reached into the back of his pants and pulled out…...his phone.

" _What a relief." Patti thought._


End file.
